So I’m one of those people who remember dates, and keep track of all kinds of things. It was one year ago today that the ex announced that she was leaving, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Someone commented that I likely had my head in the sand for a long time, and this would be partially true. I knew that we weren’t on the best road, we were overspending, (school tuition for the kids), and out of money, and I would ask if “everything” was ok, and she would answer, “why wouldn’t it be”, an implied yes, but not an actual yes.
We went to a counselor, at which I dominated the conversation. I suggested she go alone for a couple of meetings, which she did, and then bring me back in, and we could, with the counselor there, go over her issues. I should have pressed the issue, but the appointment was never made. We also tried a couples communication book, which seemed to go really well, and I asked her to find us another, (again, should have pressed the issue) and we somehow never got around to it.
We moved through time, and things seemed to be getting better. She was interested in doing things with me, we talked more, although about general day to day stuff, not anything that mattered, and she gave me slightly more positive assurances that things were “ok”.
Then, in an argument over money, (of course), she said, she was leaving. That was last May 21st.