So the kids often come up to the computer while I’m working and look at whatever’s on the screen. Frequently facebook is open, and whatever someone has posted is there for them to see. I keep an eye on my “friends” and keep them limited to folks that are family friendly, so it’s usually not a concern.
Over “my” weekend, (a term I suppose I’ll eventually get used to) their mother posts:
feeling discouraged, it’s hard right now.
Considering the kids could walk up and see this, and we’re trying our best to keep them from feeling like any of this is their fault, i wrote asking if she wanted to keep an eye on that, or if I should “defriend” her from my facebook account, just so the kids wouldn’t wonder why mom was discouraged.
Discouraged is different than sad or down, and I think it’s difficult for the kids to assume it has to do with them
There’s obviously more to this, but this was the main part of it, and I was infuriated. I find it hard to believe that she just doesn’t understand that they aren’t english majors, and while they’ve lived with their mother since birth, they don’t know the subtle difference between discouraged and sad or down.
The hardest thing is that she’s an intelligent person, and had quite a bit of consideration for the feelings of her older kids (previous marriage) , and how words, written of spoken, could effect them.
My feeling is, and is probably only partially accurate, that she’s created a fantasy world for herself where this divorce is a good thing for everyone involved. She actually used the phrase, “they’re resilient, they’ll be fine” (later retracting the “they’ll be fine” part). She used to be the “anything for the children” kind of person, and in keeping with that, she keeps trying to convince me that this is the best thing for the kids.
They’re not fine. Our 6 year old is having “Bathroom accidents” regularly. Something that never used to happen. Our 11 year old is snapping at everyone. She tends to attribute these things to the approaching new school year, and only partially to the fact that they have to remember their teddy bear every time they change houses.
I see the reality that they “need” to live thru this, and that she feels that it’s essential for her to do this, although, I am not able to understand her reasoning.
It’s so hard to believe that the woman I have lived with and loved for 15 years, is now someone who I can’t stand having a conversation with. I’m not sure if it’s that she’s different, or I’m just looking at her differently.
A new single dad 