It’s hard to believe that it’s been 5 years. Kids are doing well, sailing through school without any of the problems I worried about. They’re as socially adjusted as they’ve ever been, which isn’t saying much, but they are who they are. I’ve traveled more in the last 5 years, than the previous 15, and I’ve had a lot of fun doing things I never would have done in the past. Life’s had it’s ups and downs, but that’s par for the course. Communication with the kids mother is in writing, but it’s not unpleasant in either direction, and I think we get along better using email and text messages than we would ever do on the phone or in person.
The last couple of weeks though, have been somewhat of a challenge.
- The end of the school year and coming vacation is always a bit of a transition. This year the schedule has tossed a couple of 3-in-a-row weekends with the kids, which is a good thing, but throws off the routine, and the budget.
- I found out, in trying to refi the house that the current value is $25k less than it was at the peak of the housing crisis, and that there’s no way to get any money out, the only thing I can do is lower my rate, and maybe drop the monthly payments by 3 or 4 hundred bucks a month.
- I then found out, that the “balloon payment” to the kids mom for her share of the house, that we agreed would happen in 2015, and is part of the divorce decree, actually puts a lien on the house, automatically, as an unsettled judgement. Even though it’s not due, and I’m not changing the balance of the loan, I can’t refi to lower the payments, because the title has this judgement on it.
- I heard from my daughter, that she has been baby sitting for her neices and nephew because my step-daughter needs to go visit her husband. It appears he’s in the hospital, because of an attempted suicide, because the step-daughter was leaving him, because he’s violent. It’s rough to hear from your kid, the “adult” news in the family.
- Then through her mother, I hear that the violent husband of the step-daughter has taken the car, and left, and no one knows, or no one is saying where he is. So the step-daughter is home with 3 little ones, no car, she can’t get to work, and… (there’s no way to type an adequate pause here), she’s pregnant.
- And the savings account is empty, the checking account will be empty as soon as the bills are paid, and there is no refinance, no second source of income, just the regular paycheck, which covers the bills, but not much else.
It’s going to be a thin summer.
With all that said, it’s still summer, we still have the sailboat, and I have an outboard on loan so we can actually go sailing. The kids said if we can go sailing they don’t need to “go somewhere” this year on vacation. So we have plans to sail here there and everywhere, with a few overnights to add to the adventure.
I feel like there may be potential for some romance on the horizon, although, my glacial pace of dating means it might be christmas, or maybe my retirement party where I actually “make a move”.
Work is busy, but not crazy, which is good, the time goes by quickly but work is still done at the end of the day. No overnights here to add to the adventure.
I guess, really… it’s just life, single, married, whatever.